Mourning The Loss Of A Laptop: Denial Be Damned

Day 1. The longest day.

Confession: My laptop died.

Disclosure: Purchases made through any of the following links will 100% help us avoid this untimely and unfortunate loss in the future and should help you get over the loss of your own laptop. We know what we're doing here and we're in this together, although we're really hoping we took the hit for all of you. (Psst...we use affiliate links. May our loss not be in vain).

P.S.: You need stuff. Here's a list:


1. What time is it, you ask? IT'S CHAI TIME. You're going to need this...we didn't even know we needed this until we drank half the carton in one sitting, drowning our sorrows in sweet, syrupy, sobriety. Although no medicinal properties are claimed, we're pretty sure the sugar rush mixed with caffeine should be considered alternative treatment for mourning the loss of a laptop. Get it here in case you skipped the first link (which you totally wouldn't have done if you had this much caffeine and sugar rushing through your system).

 Mix this with milk. Trust us.

Mix this with milk. Trust us.


2. You're going to want to sit down for this. And cheaply. Fortunately, this couch is $$$, far cheaper than a new Macbook Pro, and provides the perfect spot to drink your chai tea while contemplating current failures and disappointments in your life. And when you spill your tea, who cares? You have more important things to worry about. Also, grey hides stains. Pretty sure there is scientific evidence if you Google it.

 Notice the lack of a MacBook Pro, providing ample seating and leg room.

Notice the lack of a MacBook Pro, providing ample seating and leg room.


3. Eventually, and I hate to break it to you, but you're going to have people over who are going to want to ask you "What's wrong?" and all that nonsense. Thankfully, with all that chai tea caffeine, you'll be able to run and hide in record time while channeling your pain writing blog posts on a tv screen with a ridiculously low resolution using a keyboard that doesn't even have a shift key, in comfort. You'll probably create terrible run-on sentences and grammatical errors that you just really can't see from this distance. But you won't care. Added bonus: the memory foam helps you to remember all of the choices that led you to this point and ensures you never forget. 

 6,356 customers remembered to leave a review. It's just that good.

6,356 customers remembered to leave a review. It's just that good.


4. You're going to start feeling sick now. I dunno...maybe you drank too much chai tea (let's not jump to conclusions). Maybe you're a little too far away from a terrible tv doubling as a monitor. But mostly, you're just feeling really gross and in desperate need of a solid tooth brushing. Sure, you could go old school and brush by hand, but let's face it: you've had way too much caffeine and could wreck your gum line. Also, you're just generally a really unlucky person where the worst case scenario always happens. It's not worth that kind of risk. Also, this brush is bluetooth enabled. "Why?" you may ask. We say "Why not?"

 Oooh...blue"tooth". Now we get it...Real hilarious, Braun.

Oooh...blue"tooth". Now we get it...Real hilarious, Braun.


5. You're going to want to wash today's disappointments away in as many ways as possible. This shower head promises to do just that (well, it's implied at least. Have you looked at it?). Sure, it's raining outside, but is it waterfalling outside? Yeah...didn't think so. And you can get this in only 2 days with Prime shipping. Actually, just skip showering for a couple of days. It'll be worth the wait while you ponder the purchase of an iMac instead.

 The only way to make it to Day 2 and the one place you won't miss your MacBook Pro, guaranteed.

The only way to make it to Day 2 and the one place you won't miss your MacBook Pro, guaranteed.

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-Enhanced editing by GRAMMARLY-

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